Our young Catherine looked absolutely stunning  in her elegantly understated wedding dress looking very much like another bride we may remember Grace Kelly. Prince William was the epitome of Royalty looking rather dashing in his scarlet coat aside his beautiful bride. As the hopeful romantic I watched transfixed to the tube almost breathlessly as the ceremony unfolded.

There were so many moments that moved me it is  hard to pick a favourite. The obvious connection between Catherine and her father as he proudly walked her down the aisle in Westminster Abbey towards her waiting Prince.  The brotherly connection between Harry and William at the altar when Harry mouthed “wait till you see her” with his excited grin. The moment when William first saw his lovely bride and he told her  how beautiful she looked.  When they swore their vows to  each other unable to contain their smiles and clearly in love, I could feel my heart swelling. Whenever William smiled at his bride during the ceremony looking so much like his dearly departed mother Diana I could barely contain my tears. As a mother I know that Diana would have been so proud and happy with his choice. Their obvious  physical connection and comfort level  gives me all the confidence in the world that they have the right ingredients to make this marriage work. Love and Friendship! From my mouth to God’s ears!

Although it was a very long ceremony there were so many wise words spoken during it that I had to share some of them with you! “Be who god meant you to be and you will set the world on fire”  and “The more we give of ourself the richer we become in life!”  I believe they have already started that as I understand in lieu of presents they asked well wishers to make donations to a list of their favourite charities and swore to continue to help others as always in their vows.

As if on cue the sun also made an appearance as the happy couple stepped out of  Westminster Abbey and into their horse-drawn carriage which carried them to Buckingham Palace! Looks like someone upstairs approves as well!   Prince Phillip, Queen Elizabeth, and the Middleton’s all looked so proud and shared in the couples happiness, not to mention the millions of well wishers outside the Abbey and watching at home.

Yes,  it was an obviously Royal ceremony yet I still found it extremely romantic and it gave me so much hope for the happy couple! They have been given a great gift LOVE and FRIENDSHIP! I hope the newly wed Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will always feel the Joy and Happiness  they feel today and will treasure each other all the days of their lives and may their Love bless them with many happy children. Sometimes fairy tales do come true and so it begins!

www.match-works.com

First off I want to openly admit I did exactly the opposite of what I am about to tell you. So as a typical parent, do as I say not as I did!  I married the first  man I ever dated at the tender age of 18.  Yes I know, what does a 18-year-old know about  real love? I thought I did, we had  dated for 5 years. Of course  after 9 years of marriage it ended, for no other reason than we married too young. We change so much between the ages of 16-30 that we sometimes think we want one thing and then a few years later we want something else. I learned that no one should rush into marriage, especially at that age. It is helpful to date a few different types of people, experience life on your own for awhile  and make sure that before you consider marrying anyone you actually like spending time with them, as well as lust after them or the idea of being married.  In other words you really do want your best friend and lover and know it is for the right reason.

A good partner for a long-term relationship should have the same life goals (ex.  marriage, kids, etc.) similar lifestyles, the same beliefs and values, similar activity levels and know how to communicate and be willing to work through issues that will arise. The good thing  about lifes obstacles  is  the more you struggle through them and survive the deeper  you will strengthen your bond.  Just like any long-term friendship it deepens the more ups and downs you share and survive. No relationship is perfect and will ever survive without considerable effort from both parties.  So good communication skills,  commitment, a positive attitude, empathy and realistic expectations are also important.

Chemistry is a double-edged sword, you want it, need it and thank god for it,  but it can blind you temporarily. That wonderful mind-boggling  physical chemistry can  sparkle so bright that you may not always see the red flags  early on in a relationship. Once the stars in your eyes start to dim a bit you may be surprised at who is actually standing in front of you, even though your friends and family probably saw them all along.  (So if  your friends or family are rambling on amount something  it might not be a bad thing to at least pay attention! They aren’t physically involved so they can  often those flags a little better.)

A good question to ask when considering a partner is “would you want to have a child just like this person and would you be proud of them?”

We all need to feel loved, respected and appreciated, it’s not brain surgery, but  sometimes it can seem like it. Especially if we have unresolved relationship issues from our past loves or family issues.  I have learned the hard way that LOVE  is not all you need!  But if you Love and Respect Yourself  first and then  your Partner, it’s a great place to start.

PS.  These are some common thoughts that really are tried and true! Pick your battles and make sure they are really something worth fighting for.  Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Would you rather be right or happy, if it really is  just small stuff. Life will throw enough big stuff your way, don’t create your own obstacles! It could just be a slight bump in the road. Way too many relationships have ended up stalled on the side of the road when they really could have enjoyed  the whole trip.

Best of luck wherever life’s path takes you! www.match-works.com

Our lovely Kate has often been compared to Diana but other than their undeniable beauty I believe she is in no way the shy naive young bride that Diana was! She seems to be much better prepared for the media onslaught because she has already been living in it for the last few years. I agree that it will only get worse, but she will now have the Royal families Security to shelter  her a bit more. As I stated before they honestly do appear to be in love and hopefully that love will help them conquer any marital challenges that arise.  She is hardly the innocent shrinking violet that our dear Diana was and that is to her advantage. I hope and pray that her heightened confidence, individuality, inner strength and deeply entrenched family values will help her through the rough times.  

Prince William has grown into a young man his mother would be so proud of! He is not only handsome but empathetic (like her), loving, supportive, family oriented and intelligent. He has had opportunities that most young men can only dream of, dated many young women and he picked Kate again and again!   He did not rush his decision and I commend that! I believe that Diana would be so proud of him and would  be so happy with his choice, the beautiful Kate! It is so sad that she will not be at the wedding in person but I am sure she will be there in spirit!

When I am making a match for my clients I match them on similar life paths, activity levels, compatible personalities, family values and beliefs, relationship expectations and of course  physical chemistry. Luckily Will and Kate seem to be matched in these areas and they have been long time friends as well, (not a small thing ).  I am sure the Royals  don’t really care about my opinion but I would have to say professionally I believe that Will and Kate  have what it takes to make a relationship work! Now if the media can leave them alone long enough to truly enjoy their blessings.   I would like to wish Will and Kate the very best, you have been given a great gift, LOVE! Embrace it and enjoy it!

www.match-works.com

Isn't it about time!

Mother nature has been stirring things up a lot lately and Japan has been her latest target. Every news hour is full of the horrific tragedy that is unfolding as a result of the earthquake, tsunami and  now the radiation leaks. My Heart goes out to all those affected! You never know what might be right around the corner. It reminds us that ”we all need to live each day as if it was our last”.  I am not saying  we need to be paranoid and start running around like Chicken Little  screaming “the sky is falling”, but  it wouldn’t hurt if we started appreciating the positives and  the people  in our lives and not put off till tomorrow something we really desire today.  I believe in a disaster most of us would join together to help others, but do we need to be in a disaster zone to bring out the best in us?  Why can’t we live each day with the same frame of mind? Why can’t we treat people with that same respect and compassion every day? Just as well, if there is something  or someone we really want in our lives, what are we waiting for?

With all this upheaval in the world today it is even more desirable to have a partner to count on, to share our good times and our bad.  I understand how difficult it can be to find the right match in Vancouver, it is exactly why I started Match-Works. Every week, I get a lot of enquiries from people wanting to know why someone would use a matchmaker (more specifically me).  Here is  a little information for your consideration:

I have a few  types of memberships, the Gold is the premium and most productive membership (call me for prices 778-330-1204), I search for you everywhere not limited to my data listing. I tend to find my matches within the 2nd or 3rd introduction, but I have successfully matched 7 couples on the very 1st introduction.

The bronze  (69.00) is a stepping stone to a silver, in order to keep your costs down until or unless I have someone onboard you may be a possible match for. At that point, if we decide to upgrade you to a silver from bronze it is minus the  cost of the bronze membership fee. (500.00 -69.00)

1)      I do a free pre-screening for every gold or silver member before taking them on,

2)      If we decide to go forward, then I do a full consultation to gauge your lifestyle, life goals, your readiness,  your personality type and specific search criteria for your  potential partner

3)      I am a true matchmaker not a dating service, quality matches versus quantity

4)      I am the only one that actually does a full background check on all my clients and matches

5)      I am also the only one that does a walkabout to gauge your physical chemistry 

6)      I search everywhere for a match for a gold member client, you are not limited to my data pool

7)      Silver memberships are only to bring on possible matches for a search, I have to do the full consultations so I can assure that there is a match on both sides

8)      I do the matching personally and then  suggest possible matches, after each match we have another chat and you both decide if you would like to see each other again or we try another match

9)      You never have to reject anyone, that is my job

10)   The timing is right for both of you, people only come to me when they are serious, they do not want to date the world, they are ready

11)   My service is completely private

12)   My results are extremely good, because of my intuition and personal service,

13)   Memberships are based on a one year period, money up front, you can put a service on hold  temporarily if you are travelling or sick   

14)   None of your personal information is ever on the world-wide web, ensuring your privacy and safety

15)   I have people onboard that you will not find online, executives, entrepreneurs and a lot of professionals

16)   I can guarantee you, no one in Vancouver works as hard as I do to find a possible match!

If you are single in Vancouver, even if you are not sure you are ready to become a gold member, at the very least  make sure that you are on my data listings as a bronze member. See the attached link.  http://www.match-works.com/Database.html  If you are a possible match I will contact you and we will book a personal consultation.

“Pessimist’s see the difficulty in every opportunity; optimists see the opportunity in every difficulty.”- Winston Churchill    www.match-works.com 

PS. Unfortunately not all people are honest and sometimes a disaster can bring out the crooks and scam artists. If you are looking to contribute make sure you are donating through a reputable agency.

http://www.canadiancharitylaw.ca/index.php/blog/comments/donating_to_a_canadian_charity_in_a_disaster_-_suggestions_to_ensure_funds_/

http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=27715&tid=078

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tthIHXUsPs&feature=fvw

This song covers a thought I have heard way too many times. If you follow my blog you have heard me talk about men in Vancouver and their complacent social skills. What on earth are you waiting for? Why have you gotten so afraid to make that initial connection? I realize that your reliance on social media is part of the problem, but it is time to put on your bigboy pants and take responsibility for your own lives. The number 1 thing that all women are attracted to is CONFIDENCE. I will spell it out one more time, WOMEN WANT YOU TO MAKE THE FIRST STEP!!!!!!! TALK TO US!

In the video you will see a young man worshipping a young lady from afar. Unfortunately he never does anything to strike up a conversation with her and alas, she walks away without even knowing that he was interested. Sounds all too familiar doesn’t it? How many times have you seen someone who caught your eye and you couldn’t stop watching them, but yet you let them walk away without saying anything? What are you afraid of? Yes she may be dating someone, or married or not dating at all or heaven forbid she might not be interested. But if you never try to talk to her you have no chance at all, Right! If you sit on the sidelines, never play the game, you never strike out; that’s true, but you will never get the chance to hit that home run either. So haven’t you already lost if you don’t play? The end result is the same, right? Don’t you think that meeting the right person is worth taking the risk or is your fear of rejection so strong that you would rather have her walk right out that door, possibly into someone else’s arms?

I have been out many times and noticed a few men watching me but they rarely approach me. Sometimes when I am leaving they will make a comment like “you can’t leave yet”. Excuse me I have been there for hours and now that you are completely liquored up you are brave enough to talk to me. Not a smart move. If you want to approach a woman and have a fear of rejection, chances are she would be more impressed if you were sober and coherent. Just as a drunk woman slobbering all over you is a turn off, a drunken man does not impress us. As we all know first appearances count so much for men, it is the same for women. Put your best foot forward if you are looking to find and keep a great woman and possible lifemate!

Life is short and we are all convinced that we deserve a great mate, so do something about it, stop waiting for them to fall in your lap. Please remember though, even if you take that first step there is no guarantee that she will also feel the same or that she is even available, but if you do nothing you have already lost out. I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone, take a chance, at least step up to bat, It is well worth the risk. There is a reason that almost every song is about love, it’s what we all want, to be able to love someone and be loved in return. As another song goes (Love is all you need)! Actually it’s not all you need, but it’s a great place to start!!!! Happy 2011 everyone! Let’s make it one to remember!

Thanks again to Zac Brown and Alan Jackson for their fabulous new song (Don’t be falling in fall while she’s walking away!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tthIHXUsPs&feature=fvw

 www.match-works.com

I have a few acquaintances that are still online dating, they think that they know better and believe they are smart enough not to be fooled, even after my warnings.  They are intelligent, worldly women, but they were all  fooled. They had no idea what was waiting on the other side of the computer connection. 

One of  these ladies quickly became smitten with a man that she connected with online. He seemed so well matched to her that she impulsively sold her place in the city, quit her job  and moved to the country to share her life with him. Things looked wonderful initially but it wasn’t long before she found herself alone and isolated when her knight in shining armour started to rust and fall apart. Needless to say the fairy tale was just that “a fairy tale”.  Luckily she was able to escape the disasterous relationship but is still struggling to get her life back on track, getting a new job and finding a new home  back in the city, near her friends.  

There are tons of  stories of men or women online that state that they are single and looking for a long term relationship but surprise, surprise they are still married, are just going through a breakup or have a girlfriend already and are looking for something else on the side. They will often be the ones that never actually meet you even after  they insist you spend tons of time getting to know each other through e-mails or phone conversations but panic when you  suggest meeting.  Or they meet you, come on to you like a house on fire and then disappear just as fast, no explanation.  What about the ones that meet you and spend hours interviewing you about your finances and assets, but never actually take you out on a date (coffee and an interview is not a date), be careful! Keep that information close to your heart until you get to know someone really well, no matter how you meet them.

Another women I know met a man (also online), he appeared educated, well dressed, well mannered and a gentleman,  he even worked in a similar profession.  How Perfect! He wined and dined her and seemed smitten with her almost immediately.   He presented so well and she felt surprisingly comfortable with him, so she introduced him to her family and friends. Everyone, including me seemed to think that she had found a great guy that was crazy about her. Isn’t that what we all want? Everything looked like he was too good to be true, how lucky we all thought.  Even I questioned myself and thought maybe there are some great possibilities online, if you were really careful.  The only catch was he lived in White Rock and it was a very long way to travel to spend time with each other so before long he stated that maybe he should move into her place. Her place was definitely big enough and  absolutely gorgeous, right on the seawall, who wouldn’t want to move in? Luckily she thought it might be a little too soon to be  taking that step. After all, It was only a few months and he was an early riser while she liked to sleep in. Before she knew it he moved into the city, without even telling her, seriously within a day! (at least it wasn’t at her place) She had started introducing  him to some of her  business connections and considered  bringing him in on some of her projects. Everything seemed perfect until one day in an e-mail she noticed another last name on his e-mail address.  The quick move struck her as too abrupt for such a conservative man and the second name made her concerned. She went online and started googling the other name she found in the e-mail. Almost immediately she found a picture of himbeing led away in handcuffs on the front  page of a local paper.  It was an old picture taken when he was arrested for Fraud 3 years ago, they were hauling him back to the USA where he was to be imprisoned for 5 years. He  had gotten out early for good behaviour and the local paper thought it only fair to warn the locals that he was back! . HMMMM!!!!!!! Upon further exploration she found he was back up on new charges again and was due to return to court. Needless to say she was shocked and surprised but immediately warned her business associates and friends that he was not the man she thought he was! She felt humiliated, used and couldn’t believe that he had deceived her so well and that she believed him completely. Again let me reiterate,  if someone looks too good to be true, they probably are!

My thought process about online dating stands TRUE!!!!! DON’T DO IT! IT”S DANGEROUS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO IS ON THE OTHER SIDE! Ted Bundy was a very charming handsome man that no one ever suspected was a phsycopathic killer.  Can you imagine if he had access to social media and online dating?  I do a full background search on my clients and all their possible matches for exactly these reasons. The type of person that I am searching for, for my clients  does not online date. Professionals and executives swear to me  they will not date online, they do not want their pictures for all to see. They do not want  their clients or co-workers knowing what they are doing, they want to remain private. That’s exactly why they come to me! I protect them and their privacy while I am searching for their matches.   If you insist on online dating be Careful!!!!!

At the very least if you are not sure that you want me to search for you as a gold member, you should at least be part of my data listings as a bronze member. You can submit me your profile and photo for consideration at http://www.match-works.com/Application.html If you happen to be a possible match for someone I am actively searching for I will contact you and we can talk  about upgrading you to a silver membership. For more information you can contact me at 778-330-1204   or e-mail me at    matchmaker@match-works.com

Men, if you have met a person of interest at an event or party, I hope within a few days you have followed it up with a phone call,  as you said you would.    If not what are you waiting for? Why did you ask for her number in the first place? The ball is in your court (for once) and you do not have to wait 2 or 3 days to call her and you are actually better off if you don’t. Any man who was seriously interested in me has called me within 24 hours and I was quite happy he did.  It shows that you are interested and confident. Two things all women love!

Women, if he is brave enough to call you and ask you out make sure that you are gracious and accept, if not why did you give him your phone number?

Now that you are talking on the phone make sure and keep it light, find out if you have any similar activities that you could share on your first date. DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EX. Pick an activity that you would both be interested in, something you might do with a friend, again keep it light.  

On your first dates DO NOT  meet for coffee and proceed to interview each other, no one feels comfortable being screened by a potential partner.  I am constantly surprised at how many people do this, nothing kills a mood faster than feeling like you are being scrutinized.  As a matchmaker I prescreen possible matches for my clients, so they don’t have to,  people expect me to do it and it’s much more comfortable for everyone, it’s not personal it’s my business.

First dates are to see if you like each other’s company not to find out how much they have in assets or why their past relationships broke up. We do not want to hear about your ex and how she robbed you blind. We don’t care what you used to have, we don’t care how  you were deceived when you picked your last partner or your children’s mother.  We don’t want to hear how she was so beautiful and you just fell hopelessly in love with her till she left you for a younger and much richer man, now that she has half of your assets.   Men, not all women in the world are out to take you to the cleaners but if that is what you keep attracting maybe you need to take a look at who you are dating and ask yourself why!  Women, if you keep picking the bad boy what about “bad boy” don’t you  understand?  Back to the conversation, KEEP  IT LIGHT! Dating is about having fun!!!!!! If  not, chances are there will not be a second date.

What about that first kiss? DO NOT RUSH IT! Unfortunately sometimes we rush into it so quickly that we blow it.  You only have one chance at a first kiss and if you mess it up chances are you won’t get a second one.I suggest taking your time and waiting till it is right for both of you, you will know when, if you are paying attention.   Even then, I suggest keeping it light, no deep throat on the first kiss and no one wants to be slobbered on. You might want to read my post on kissing,  a favourite of mine. http://vancouverdating.match-works.com/index.php/2009/06/16/its-in-his-or-her-kiss/

Back to my last suggestion PAYING ATTENTION, no one ever  lost out by paying  too much attention on a date. That means LISTEN AS MUCH AS YOU TALK, you will be surprised how much you can learn about someone if you just pay attention!  It costs you nothing and the insight is well worth your time! If you see that they treat the waiter or waitress badly,  chances are they will treat you the same before long. If they are constantly checking out or flirting with others this is another red flag, don’t overlook these patterns! If someone shows you bad behaviour don’t ignore it,  if they are considerate and thoughtful these are good things! Make sure that you are putting your best foot forward as well, you only have one chance to make a good impression.  Keep things positive, light and fun, isn’t that what you want from a date?

Make sure and dress for the occasion, always put your best foot forward and that means your shoes also. The only time you should show up for a date in runners is  if you have already agreed that you will be going for a walk or other physical activity that would require it. Even then they should be clean. If you are going to be wearing jeans make sure that they fit you properly, stay away from the old man jeans that you come up to your waist and bag in the butt and legs. You appreciate when a woman dresses up and takes pride in her appearance, women do too.  It shows that you thought they were worth the effort.   And ladies it is just silly to go for a hike in your stilettos so make sure you dress appropriately as well. Be conservative on the makeup as well, no man likes a overmade clown face that smears all over his collar.

As I said, I know a lot of these things sound simple and basic and we should all know this but why do so many of us forget?  Dating is supposed to be enjoyable, remember when you were a teenager and all you worried about was whether they were going to like you or not, if your breath was fresh and what if they tried to kiss  you or  what if they didn’t? We need to get back to a little more simplicity, slowing things down and stop the Spanish inquisition. Dating  is meant to be an opportunity to get to know someone better,  be positive  but don’t put unrealistic expectations on it or them.  Don’t takes things too seriously, relax and enjoy yourself, but not so much that you drink too much and  Never Ever Drink and Drive!  Happy Dating!!!! If you need any help finding the right date, you know where to reach me! www.match-works.com

If it has been awhile since you have been out socializing or your past behaviour is not getting you the results you would like consider these tips:

Socializing 101

DO:

When you arrive, make sure you connect with the host/hostess, let them know that you would like to be introduced to some of the other guests

Dress appropriately for the occasion, if in doubt ask the host /hostess (first impressions  are so important)

Wear a conversation piece (It can be as simple as a unique accessory ex, piece of jewelry or a unique tie  ) It will give others something to talk to you about

Compliment others ……….. (if you look hard enough, you will see something you like on anyone you would like to talk to) 

If it is a home party, bring something fabulous to share, maybe your favourite appie or some great wine that can be a subject of conversation  (it also shows that you are thoughtful)

Talk to everyone, including the couples, they may have an amazing single friend or family member they are dying to introduce you to

Ask  open-ended questions, giving the other party the  opportunity to share with you

Keep the conversation light, ex. your last trip,  activities you enjoy

Be positive, everyone wants to be around a positive force

Above all else, make sure that you SMILE, so that everyone can see that you are approachable

DON’T:

Don’t put unrealistic expectations on the event or holidays

Do not vent your anger about your ex

If it is a work function, do not hit on your co-workers, employees, your boss or his wife

Do not drink excessively to bolster your confidence, nothing worse than spilling your guts (or anything you ate) with someone you just met

Do not talk endlessly about yourself, your accomplishments, or your monetary goods (no one really cares or likes a bragger)

Do not tell them that they remind you of your ex, (even if they could be their twin)  

Do not criticize anything they are wearing (even if it is the reindeer sweater that grandma just gave them)

Do not hit on everyone in the party, it makes you look desperate or like a player

Do not ask anyone what they want for breakfast

Do not under any circumstance share why your last relationship broke up, (Cheating, lying, drinking, etc.)

(Women) Do not confess that you are desperate for a baby (even if your biological clock is about to explode)

(Men) Do not ask for someones number, say you are going to call and then don’t ( they actually believe you will and  it shows them right away that you are unreliable or a player) Save everyone any heartache and don’t do it unless you are seriously interested and will call

 The holidays can be fabulous,  make sure and put your best foot forward and enjoy the season to its fullest and  Never  ever drink and drive!

Both Tiger and Jessie had beautiful amazing women at home and seemed like they had these fairytale relationships so why were they so drawn to destroy their relationships and break their wives hearts.  Maybe that is it, if it seems to good to be true then it must not be! Or Maybe it is too much for them to live up to when they really know deep  down that they don’t deserve these loving women. Maybe it is an ego thing and they feel that because they are famous or rich  that they are entitled ( as Tiger stated) to all women, damn the consequences. Or maybe like Jessie he hated that he was not the center of the attention all the time! If he seriously believed that she was the best thing that ever happened to him (as he stated) why would he risk throwing that all away? Sorry I don’t buy the sex addiction thing in all these cases.

I will be honest and admit even I (not a  beautiful celebrity) have had many married men approach me with the potential offer of an illicit affair. They seemed to be  so sincere with their declarations of admiration and had the nerve to be surprised when I refused their offer. Some out and out lied about their marital status others swore that they had an understanding with their wives, claiming  that they had an open marriage. What is that? One actually had the nerve to tell me that I should be complimented that he wanted to be with me. In no way shape or form is a compliment that a man thinks you will cheat with him, he does not respect you or his partner. If he truly cared or loved you he would not put you in that situation!  You are just aiding and abetting him, he will implode all my himself soon enough and why let him take you along with him.

A friend of mine confided in me about an affair she was having with a superior at work, I begged her to walk away, that it would end badly and that he would not leave his wife for her and would she really want him to do that anyways. Needless to say it wasn’t long before she got dumped and lost her job. Some of these cheaters are so good at lying about their home life that  their mistresses seriously believe somehow they are justified. The truth is most of their  partners have no idea that their men are cheating. I can only imagine (thank god I have never had anyone cheat on me)  how terrible it must be to find out that someone you loved and trusted  disrespected you so much. I have another friend of mine who has had a few husbands cheat on her, I have no idea how she could trust anyone again, I am not sure so sure I would be able to.

I have a whole pile of questions that I and a lot of other women would like to  have answered by men who have cheated and by the women who had the affair with them. I welcome your input.

Why did you feel that it was acceptable to cheat on your partner? Or did you even think about how it might affect them at all?

Did you  honestly think that no one would find out? Or did you subconsciously want to be discovered?

Did you carry on a long-term affair and how did it end? Was there ever anything good that came out of you having an affair?

Given a second chance, would  you do it all over again? With the information that you know now would you ever have another affair?

Did you honestly look at your responsibility in the affair or do you just blame everyone else?

Wouldn’t it have been smarter to leave your marriage before introducing another partner into your life? Why did you opt not to do that instead of cheating and hurting your partner?

If you were the mistress did you honestly believe that he was a good man  or that  he was worth disrespecting yourself and his partner? Would you ever do it again?

Thanks for your input.

www.match-works.com

Let’s be honest, there are a ton of people (men and women) online and off  that have no intention of going into a relationship and unfortunately they are not always honest and forthright with this information. These people may have deep-rooted commitment issues and it will take a lot more than one post to discuss this (multiple reasons). Thanks to the ease of access online and  an illusion of a  plethora of choice we now have  even more serial daters that have become addicted to online dating or social media.  They are online multiple times in a day, scouring the  dating sites looking for another photo, another profile, another victim. Serial online daters believe  that they can have any woman/man they want at the click of a mouse. In their mind they can but reality soon steps in when the new person doesn’t  exactly match their profile or they don’t match theirs. False advertising is rampant online  and will bite you in the butt every time.   In case you haven’t noticed men and women use old photos, lie about their age, activity level and availability (just to mention a few). How do you recognize them? To start with, you will see them for long time periods on multiple dating sites.  They may leave (hide their profile) momentarily going off to  try to date one woman or man but chances are given a few months and they will be baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!  

I am sure you realize that online dating and social media make money advertising on their site, so the longer that you are online the better for them. They are not designed to work  for you! They are cash cows! Besides there is always a new profile a new photo a new distraction.  It’s no wonder it is the latest addiction, why would you just pick one? It so hard to decide, why do you think the bachelor or the bachelorette can’t pick the right one, too many distractions, but if they met just one of those people and got to know them without all the distractions, I bet the results would be better.  Even if they start dating someone they often leave their profile open, (just in case they miss someone) and even if the site you met them on doesn’t show them doesn’t mean they are off. They may have hidden it  (yes you can do that) or be on another site that you are unaware of.  Old contacts  (like old girlfriends) can still contact them even if they are visibly offline and they can contact people without you seeing it.  Chances are if you are constantly being told that they are busy and are out a lot of nights and weekends, they are probably still dating others.   If someone is interested in you they make time for you, they make you a priority! If they only call at the last minute, are  hard to reach and don’t  answer their phones during non work hours they are probably still seeing others.  Remember the book and film, “He’s just not that into YOU”!  It’s why I insist that all my clients stay offline and only date one person at a time, no multiple dating, period. I believe it is one of the reasons that I have such good success with my matches.

If they are 40 -50 and never been married or had a long-term relationship (past 10 years) they probably have  commitment  or relationship issues. As much as you may think you will be different you probably won’t be the one to resolve that and you will soon be the one  needing a therapist. If they tell you that they are there “till it’s not fun anymore”, move on! No relationship will always be fun and without conflict, men, women  and people in general  have difficulty communicating at the best of times. Look at your closest relationships with your family members and friends, the more crap that you have been through and overcome the closer you are.  I took a workshop that said exactly that, “Welcome the conflict into your relationships, because it gives you the opportunity to overcome it and  that in turn deepens your bond emotionally. What happens at work if you don’t put out any effort, YOU GET FIRED! Right! Any relationship in your life requires an effort to make it last whether it is with a friend, family member, co-worker, or your potential partner.  If your partner is not willing to do the work they don’t really value the relationship! There are some things that we cannot overcome of course, (abuse, addictions, conflicting life goals) but a lot of people walk away the first time their  potential partner has a difference of opinion  or wears the wrong shoes. Nobody seems to want to put any effort into making a relationship work. Honestly it is much harder to keep starting over with yet another partner than focusing on the positives and trying to work through the rough spots. Keep in mind that  you should do it because you want to, not because you have to! Don’t you appreciate it when other people focus on your positives rather than your negatives! I think we all would, we all deserve a break. God knows I  know I am not perfect, nobody is, or are you one of those people who believes that you are?   HMMMMMMMM, that’s a whole other subject and a whole other post.

PS. If you are serious about finding one specific person that you could build a lasting loving relationship with and you are not sure where to start, at the very least make sure you are part of my data listings with a (bronze membership). http://www.match-works.com/Application.html  That way if  and when I have someone who is looking for someone just like you I can call you in for a (silver membership)  pre-screening,  further consultation, walkabout and background check. Who knows, I may  have just who you are looking for onboard already. http://www.match-works.com/ActiveSearches.html  If you would like me to search for you actively (gold membership) you can call me directly  778-330-1204 or e-mail me at matchmaker@match-works.com

www.match-works.com